After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
