should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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