I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
