something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
