I'm so fucking centered right now
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
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