do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
