As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize