She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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