just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
