Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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