so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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