Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
