What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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