Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
