So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
