um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
