This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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