By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
