we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
