I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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