They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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