The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
