We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We had to coat check the pizza.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
