She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
