When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
