You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
