Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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