I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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