how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
