Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
