AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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