he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize