You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
