Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
