Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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