i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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