There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
