I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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