On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
