we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
