I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
