why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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