she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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