I must be too annoying 4 u.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
