so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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