He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
