I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize