pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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