It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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