How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
