What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize