I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
