My pussy is not your playground.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
