i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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