He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
