I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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