How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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