explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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