I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
