quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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