Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
