He uses pillows to masturbate.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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